Tired of Kissing Frogs?
In writing “Stories from the Dating Trenches,” I met with several singles who asked me point blank: Why do I end up with undateable dates? Why can’t I find a boyfriend/girlfriend? The answer usually presents itself after I asked them a few simple questions.
What are those three magical queries? Drum roll please…
1) Do you know what you’re looking for in a date?
This sounds pretty silly, and almost every time the answer is most likely, “Yes, I know what I want.”
Really? Then I ask the next big question.
2) What are you specifically looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?
This question is usually followed by a short contemplative pause, and then a rambling list of qualities comes spilling out that is so broad, you could paint the side of a barn with it. This is like listening to “The Perfect Nanny” song from Mary Poppins. Let’s be clear: I’m not making fun of these singles, because I was one of them until I learned a HUGE lesson from Question #3.
Then I’d dig a little deeper and ask what initially seems ridiculous, but there is method to my madness.
Date Diva: So you’d like a nice guy/girl, who is loving, employed, good looking, likes your cat, etc.?
Single: Yes!
Date Diva: Good! Oh, but it’s okay that they live across the country, have a prison record, work odd jobs, have six kids from six different partners, a drug problem and own cat-eating snake?
Single: NO!
Date Diva: So you have more specific qualities that you are looking for other than nice, employed, good looking, likes your cat, etc.?
Single: …yes…
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.
3) Have you written down the qualities of this person with whom you want a serious relationship?
Single: No, but I have it all in my head. Insert smile here…
Ding! Ding! Ding!
That’s when we have a Date Diva intervention with a MANifestation list.
MANifestation List
I go into great detail of how to create a MANifestation list in the book, but the basic spirit of this is that you need to write down a detailed list of desired qualities in a boyfriend or girlfriend (for guys this might be better titled a “WOMANifestation List,” but you get my drift). This list combines laser pointing what you want along with the Law of Attraction, and it packs a powerful and effective punch, if done right.
This blog is long enough for now, but I’ll go into more detail on the MANifestation List in the next entry.
Let me know if you’ve ever created a list, how it worked out, and if you’d like tips on how to build and effective list.
Oorah!
Kristi DeWitt, AKA The Date Diva – Stories from the Dating Trenches: Veteran Tactics, Tales and MANeuvers