Tired of Kissing Frogs?

In writing “Stories from the Dating Trenches,” I met with several singles who asked me point blank: Why do I end up with undateable dates? Why can’t I find a boyfriend/girlfriend? The answer usually presents itself after I asked them a few simple questions.

What are those three magical queries? Drum roll please…

1) Do you know what you’re looking for in a date?

This sounds pretty silly, and almost every time the answer is most likely, “Yes, I know what I want.”

Really? Then I ask the next big question.

2) What are you specifically looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?

This question is usually followed by a short contemplative pause, and then a rambling list of qualities comes spilling out that is so broad, you could paint the side of a barn with it. This is like listening to “The Perfect Nanny” song from Mary Poppins. Let’s be clear: I’m not making fun of these singles, because I was one of them until I learned a HUGE lesson from Question #3.

Then I’d dig a little deeper and ask what initially seems ridiculous, but there is method to my madness.

Date Diva: So you’d like a nice guy/girl, who is loving, employed, good looking, likes your cat, etc.?

Single: Yes!

Date Diva: Good! Oh, but it’s okay that they live across the country, have a prison record, work odd jobs, have six kids from six different partners, a drug problem and own cat-eating snake?

Single: NO!

Date Diva: So you have more specific qualities that you are looking for other than nice, employed, good looking, likes your cat, etc.?

Single: …yes…

Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.

3) Have you written down the qualities of this person with whom you want a serious relationship?

Single: No, but I have it all in my head.   Insert smile here…

Ding! Ding! Ding!

That’s when we have a Date Diva intervention with a MANifestation list.

MANifestation List

I go into great detail of how to create a MANifestation list in the book, but the basic spirit of this is that you need to write down a detailed list of desired qualities in a boyfriend or girlfriend (for guys this might be better titled a “WOMANifestation List,” but you get my drift). This list combines laser pointing what you want along with the Law of Attraction, and it packs a powerful and effective punch, if done right.

This blog is long enough for now, but I’ll go into more detail on the MANifestation List in the next entry.

Let me know if you’ve ever created a list, how it worked out, and if you’d like tips on how to build and effective list.

Oorah!

Kristi DeWitt, AKA The Date Diva – Stories from the Dating Trenches: Veteran Tactics, Tales and MANeuvers

You wait a couple days with no call. You think, “No big deal, that’s expected – he’s probably just playing it cool.”

You wait a few more days, and still your phone is silent. Completely silent. Did you write the correct number down? Maybe he got hit by a car? Possibly he was stricken with severe laryngitis so he can’t utter a word? Is there any hope?

Now it has been two weeks and you finally toss in the towel: This guy is NOT going to call you.

The MAN-el

Why would he chat you up and then never call? Here are some of the answers I got from a recent “MAN-el” discussion board (a five-man Q&A panel), to the eternal question of “Why would a guy ask for your number and then never call?”:

• He was going to call you, but he washed your phone number or lost the piece of paper/napkin/etc.
• He got your number along with a few others, and one of them agreed to go out with him before he called you
• He asked for your number as a way to wrap up the conversation the two of you had
• He thought it was the courteous thing to do after talking with you
• He just wanted to see if he could your number – like a catch-and-release singles program
• He already has a girlfriend, fiance, wife…boyfriend

Cupid is NOT Calling

Countless single women have wrestled with the “Why didn’t he call” question, and short of hiring a psychic, you’ll probably never know why this nice guy never called. The best course of action is to stop wasting your time analyzing all the possible reasons why he’s not calling. Men are like buses: there will be another one stopping by any minute. so turn off your phone, leave your house and shake it off. NEXT!

Dating Debrief

What are some reasons you’ve heard of why a man doesn’t call, or why haven’t you called a potential date after getting their phone number?

Calling All Love Warriors To Arms!

Singles march off to the dating trenches day after day with the hope of finding “the one.” Some bravely  join online dating sites, others leave things purely to chance by hoping they’ll just run into their soul mate, or some simply just don’t know how or where to begin their search.

Are you tired of stumbling around in the dating trenches? Take a deep breath, my comrades in arms – all is not lost! The good news is that this blog will offer debriefs on tactics and strategies needed to help singles with our fight in the dating trenches.

Dating Field Manual

Whether you’ve just joined the dating ranks, you’ve re-enlisted as a single, or you’ve been engaged in dating for several years, check in with us for tried-and-true dating tactics and strategies from your fellow singles.

Let’s work together to build a Dating Field Manual that you can actually use. We’ll talk about many topics to help you:

• Get ready to date
• Define your perfect match
• Where to meet singles
• Streamline online dating strategies
• Decide if you need a date coach
• What to look for in a matchmaker
• How to avoid relationship recycling
• Understand why do men say they’ll call and then don’t
• Cheaters: How to spot them
• Survive a breakup, whether your the dumper or the dumpee
• And more…

Here are some ways you can enlist in our troop:

• Find out the latest events on Facebook by becoming part of the Group “Stories From the Dating Trenches”
• Join the ranks on the www.MyDateStories.com site by becoming part of our email troops
• Sign up for the RSS feeds so the blogs will show up on your feed stream as they are posted

Oorah!

Kristi DeWitt, AKA Date Diva